As told by Dax / Dabby
I think that any day that doesn’t end face down in a pool of my own blood, is a pretty good one. Well, today was extra special, because, not only did we not suffer any unfortunate setbacks in diplomacy leading to violence (usually my own fault), we even made a new friend, Snigbat.
I’d like to point out that I’m using the word friend very loosely here. Snigbat‘s more of a “not actively attempting to murder us with rusty goblin murder tools” friend, than a "why don’t you come over for holiday dinner" sort of friend. I’m also well aware that befriending goblins is a terrible idea, and understand that our nasty little friend would murder us as soon as she found the sense or murder tools to do so.
Thankfully for us, she seems to lack both sense or murder tools and instead posses an overabundance of ambition. So much so that it wasn’t hard to convince her to betray her own leader, Boss Hark, who we then killed along with his seven pet rats, and two bodyguards. Go team. We even saved a hysterical human woman, who we need to question further once she calms down.
I might have jumped ahead of myself there.
We escaped the orcs on horseback. Why anyone would choose to ride a horse is a mystery to me, and while helpful when fleeing orcs, I’d rather avoid situations where fleeing orcs becomes the best option. Anyway horses. We got away, spent little time deciding where to go next (the dripping caves), and most of the rest of the day getting there.
We rested nearby, while keeping a eye on the mouth of the caves. During my dawn watch with Royzig, I decided to go scouting (I’d like to point out how much I appreciate Royzig’s suit yourself attitude when it comes to my sometimes questionable ideas that typically end with me face down in bad day) and poked around the caves a bit. I found several subtler entrances than the main cave opening: a western stream inlet, an eastern stream outlet, and a chimney on top.
Once the group was up, we decided to go in through the chimney. Feeling like this would be a good opportunity to try out (again) my Maglubiyet disguise, and with Royzig ready with some minor illusion magic, we descended the chimney. This is where we met that friend I mentioned earlier. While our little illusion seemed totally lost on her (maybe she’s not smart enough to be fooled), she was eager to be helpful, which somehow she hopes will lead to her eventually promotion.
Snigbat drew us a map, and gave us the general layout and low-down of the caves. 40 or so goblins spread throughout the caves, Big guys (Ogres?) in the middle large cavern, with goblin sentries posted on ledges. The path leading to the humans, another tunnel leading to a “squishy” that kills goblins—an ooze or blob or something. Our little friend was eager to point out the lair of the goblin Boss Hark, who she hoped to usurp.
Our plan was to have Snigbat rush into Boss Hark’s room with a few gold, and claim that a giant bag of gold fell down the chimney, to convince Boss Hark to come check it out, and lead him into our waiting ambush. This seemed like a good plan, because one thing we know about goblins, its that they like shiny stuff— and gold is shiniest. Well, we either needed a simpler plan or a smarter goblin, because it didn’t seem like Boss Hark was going to fall for it. Are all goblins too stupid to be deceived? Do they just fundamentally not understand what is happening around them, so then, cannot be duped into thinking that something different is happening?
Anyway, back up plan. Run in and murder everyone— quietly if possible. Success.
1. What to do with this new little friend, who is surely to be real upset when we tell her that her human eating days are over.
2. What to do about the big guys, Ogres?, Snigbat mentioned in the main cavern.
3. Whats the best way to get to the townsfolk and safely get them out of the cave, and where will they go once free? Back to destroyed, orc occupied, night stone?